There seems to be a silence lurking in his words. Something he's hiding from behind his teeth. A secret he refuses to share. We all know it's there, but nobody questions him out loud. We don't look him in the eyes as he speaks, there's a dark cruelty in them. Like even when he's smiling, there's something haunting him. A sight that he'll never get over, but yet we still don't ask. Instead we let our questions surround him in silence. And yet it's only when he's silent he speaks aloud. And when he speak aloud, this is what we hear. You could see the crystals from her breath as she screamed for help. No one around but him, her and them. Pain strikes in his stomach, it was searing through his body. He wouldn't have been able to bear it, if it wasn't for her scream. They threw her to the ground and he lunged at them. No other thoughts, other then saving her. Making them collapse to the ground. With his sweaty hands he grabbed her and tried to run. Tried being the key word. They grabbed him and beat him in till his body lay motionless. So laying there with one eye swollen shut and one eye open watching his true love die, instead of him. That night she lost two things, her life and one other thing that shall remain unnamed. Even though I'm sure you have a good idea what she lost. So now he wounders this world, with a silence lurking in his words and a story he never tells. He was 18 and she only 16, the day his world came crashing down.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Silence
There seems to be a silence lurking in his words. Something he's hiding from behind his teeth. A secret he refuses to share. We all know it's there, but nobody questions him out loud. We don't look him in the eyes as he speaks, there's a dark cruelty in them. Like even when he's smiling, there's something haunting him. A sight that he'll never get over, but yet we still don't ask. Instead we let our questions surround him in silence. And yet it's only when he's silent he speaks aloud. And when he speak aloud, this is what we hear. You could see the crystals from her breath as she screamed for help. No one around but him, her and them. Pain strikes in his stomach, it was searing through his body. He wouldn't have been able to bear it, if it wasn't for her scream. They threw her to the ground and he lunged at them. No other thoughts, other then saving her. Making them collapse to the ground. With his sweaty hands he grabbed her and tried to run. Tried being the key word. They grabbed him and beat him in till his body lay motionless. So laying there with one eye swollen shut and one eye open watching his true love die, instead of him. That night she lost two things, her life and one other thing that shall remain unnamed. Even though I'm sure you have a good idea what she lost. So now he wounders this world, with a silence lurking in his words and a story he never tells. He was 18 and she only 16, the day his world came crashing down.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Who's There?
Who is this person looking back at me, in my reflection. I don't recognize them, or maybe I don't want to. I don't want to realize that my eyes have gone cold. My lips have turned into an unchangeable smirk. My soft bone structure has gone hard. Maybe I don't want to realize that there's always one too many shadows lurking behind me. Maybe it's just the light that's tricking me or maybe the mirror is broken in some unfathomable way. There's all of these excuses flowing throw my veins. The truth is my mistakes have shaped me into a stranger, that is no longer recognizable. Who have I become?
Good Bye
Another dead body I should've known. Another grave stone with a name I can't remember. Another family member I could've had, but now they're gone. Leaving me wonder, what could've happened in my life if she was in it. Would my life feel more prosperous? Would my life turn into a chaos I couldn't fix. Not knowing is almost worst then knowing. Even if she killed you inside. It's like all of these questions that you'll never have an answer too. So I say goodbye to my great grandmother, even if I didn't know her.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
A Letter of Truth
Dear Who Ever:
Let me reassure you about this blog. Let me tell you the truth behind my words, but promise one thing before we begin. Promise me that you won't judge me for the things that I say. You promise? Fine let's continue. These words are just words I pushed together by panic. Panic that if I don't say something meaningfull that I'll fall into a black pit of hatred. So I type these false words hoping they sound sincere. When really they're just lies, protecting me from the truth. The truth being that I say what I do not do. I stand here telling you something, and yet I do the other. I'm sorry but I don't plan on stopping either. I may not follow the words that I write but that doesn't mean that they're wrong. It just means that you should do the opposite of me. So maybe this wasn't reassuring but at least it was truthfull. And here's the thing if you read really carefully, you'll see a bit of me unmasked.
Let me reassure you about this blog. Let me tell you the truth behind my words, but promise one thing before we begin. Promise me that you won't judge me for the things that I say. You promise? Fine let's continue. These words are just words I pushed together by panic. Panic that if I don't say something meaningfull that I'll fall into a black pit of hatred. So I type these false words hoping they sound sincere. When really they're just lies, protecting me from the truth. The truth being that I say what I do not do. I stand here telling you something, and yet I do the other. I'm sorry but I don't plan on stopping either. I may not follow the words that I write but that doesn't mean that they're wrong. It just means that you should do the opposite of me. So maybe this wasn't reassuring but at least it was truthfull. And here's the thing if you read really carefully, you'll see a bit of me unmasked.
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